Dear Jaylon,
A few minutes ago I was utterly miserable. Missing you so much. I really miss you. A lot of the time I am just fine. I am busy with the kids and the house and activities. But other times after the kids go to bed there is such a void and I feel your absence so much it makes me feel so low and I can feel depression nipping at my heels and begging me to just...do.....nothing. So I start moving extra fast to beat it. Or I shut my eyes and remember different moments when you were with me. Like Orcas Island. Our weekend there is one of my favorite memories. 
Remember the HUGE cookies on the bed?
Remember the HUGE cookies on the bed?
I still want to bring the kids back to this mountain. It is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.
We should go back there with the kids when you return.
Well, I am going to go and try to watch a movie. I will probably fall asleep within the hour. I wish you were here with me. It drives me crazy that you're not. What weird world is this? I am so homesick for you.Good-night.
Jami, that makes me so sad--I know how you feel and yet I will never know how you feel. I know what it's like when the night comes and kids are in bed and all you have is yourself and you try to pretend that someone else is there with you, or try to think of happy thoughts. But I don't know what it's like to be apart from your spouse for that long...
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