Forgive My Soapbox

So, maybe I shouldn't share my views or vent...but if not here, then where? Tonight I picked my kids up from daycare and there were two nice ladies and we got to talking. Their husbands are currently stationed in Afghanistan and as soon as they said that I instantly felt terrrible for them. I don't like the fact that Jaylon's in Iraq. It's dangerous. But it's not nearly as dangerous as Afghanistan and 5th Brigade has lost 15 soldiers since deploying in July. These ladies have children and they are worried about their husbands. I have several close friends who have husbands in Afghanistan and they are so worried about them. These ladies that I spoke with tonight said, "What are they doing there? Chasing after bad guys in caves? They weren't prepared for what's happening over there right now...I want them to come home." Now, to my point. Right before Jaylon left I asked what his brigade's overall mission was. Countless meetings and he couldn't tell me. These ladies were wondering what their husbands were doing over there...the whys, the whats, whatever. And then I get on my email and read this article. And I guess it just bugs me that a bunch of politicians get together and toss out numbers like 30-40,000 more soldiers like they're talking about jelly beans and not men and women and families being separated and lives being lost...and we (the families left behind) are asking each other what our spouses are even doing? They talk about "raising the troop level" as casually as raising the temperature in their office. And why do I get the sense that it's the expense that bothers them more than the actual cost to the families who have had deployed loved ones multiple times? There is something wrong with this picture. That's all. I'm not saying yay or nay about "the war." I just wish that when President Obama or Joe Biden or Senator what's-his-face get into a hemming and hawing debate about "adding more troops" they could have huge posters of the kids who are missing their dads in front of their faces...and maybe it would mean more than just ordering out more human beings to dodge faceless, cowardly terrorists who plant roadside bombs and then run and hide.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091001/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_us_afghanistan

Weekend Recap

This past Saturday Jax had 2 soccer games. As I was putting him to bed the night before I asked if he was going to play really good. He looked at me with his big, beautiful eyes and said, very seriously, "I hope I have stretchy legs. When I have stretchy legs I run really fast!" He got his stretchy legs about half way through the first game. He played goalie for the first half of the second game and he was awesome. He dove at the ball like a professional! Jay had a good time running on the turf. Do we have a future football player perhaps? Not if Mom has anything to say about it!

Just a glimpse of everyday life and chores.

Boys

Dear Jaylon,
Baby Z is starting to grow a nice head of hair. He sat up today for about 5 seconds while I took this picture. Isn't he yummy? I love Jay's grin and Izaac's dimpled, chubby hands.

This is their full cowboy get-up from Mamie. I heard a rumor that they will be getting hats soon. Jay prefers to wear his boots with shorts. I'll get a picture of that for you. I threw away his favorite yellow shirt. It was getting so tight I couldn't fit it over his head- and very stained. I didn't bargain on him refusing to wear his yellow shorts now that he's missing his yellow shirt.

We miss you.

Another Soccer Video

First Soccer Video

Fall Soccer

This Saturday was Jax's 2nd soccer game. He is so fun to watch play. He is fast and aggressive and plays with his heart. I filmed faithfully and right after I ended my last video he scored a goal. It was an awesome goal and he was so excited. I overheard the biggest kid on his team saying to his Dad, "That kid is the smallest but he's the fastest and he scored a goal!" Jax is my tender child- the one who cries at the drop of a hat. But he took some really hard hits and kept playing. After the game he told me he got hurt a couple of times, "but I didn't even cry!" I am so proud of how hard he tries!

I thought Jax showed remarkable focus on the ball- he was so determined and competitive. It really was awesome!

When Life Gives You Apples...

We skipped church and decided to go to a cider festival instead. Who knew that an ENTIRE orchard of apples could be picked over in 90 minutes?
{Greedy pickers}
We wandered the orchard and eventually found a lucky tree with lots of apples. Before we found this tree it sounded more like an Easter Egg hunt. Lots of searching and an occasional shout, "I found one!" That's ok. Fortunately it doesn't take much to entertain children and once we found our golden tree the kids went to town and I came home with loads and loads of apples. The whole point of this exercise was to make cider. However, the line to make cider was longer than Disneyland. No kidding. Hours and hours long. So what do I do with all of these apples and no husband to eat pie with me? Thank goodness for friends! As we were searching we came across this tantalizing, loaded tree. Off limits. Talk about forbidden fruit. I'll admit it...my integrity was tested.

We had a lovely, sunshiny day.

Baths and Jammies

Dear Jaylon,
You wondered if Izaac's body was as chubby as his cheeks. You be the judge. I think he patterns Jax and Jay and (let's face it) YOU in that his head is a bit bigger than the rest of him. That's ok. We know big heads hold big brains, right? If I could I would send you his sweet baby-after-bath smell. He is starting to outgrow his bath. Izaac still isn't a champion at rolling over but he's very good at putting his foot in his mouth. He takes after me that way!

The boys are sporting their new jammies from Mamie. Can you see the fear on Izaac's face? He knows he's in danger between those two wild ones.

It was so nice to talk to you tonight. It almost felt like you were just down the street or something. Today while the kids were being babysat I walked into a terriyaki place I'd never been to before. I thought it was fast food but it was actually a sit down restaurant. I felt kind of silly sitting there by myself so I changed my mind and told the lady to give me take-out instead. After I got my food I went and sat on the sidewalk next to our car and ate my food while I read a book and rocked Izaac in the stroller. It was ok. But then I thought about how many more Saturdays I'll be sitting by myself eating take-out and boy...that was the wrong thought. So I quickly went back to my coping world- which is to take it moment by moment and day by day and not think too far ahead. Taken like that it's ok that I was spending an hour by myself reading and eating. It's a good thing I usually have friends to go out with because I don't think I ever want to get used to eating in restaurants by myself. I still have laundry to fold and put away and a school newsletter to write...and a green goblin to sterilize since Jay threw it in the toilet after he (the green goblin) lost his head... so I'd better say goodnight. I love you.

Corn Maze

Dear Jaylon,
We went to the corn maze on Labor day. It was free for military. We went with friends and had lots of fun but my back was killing me by the end from carrying a chubby baby. The kids could have stayed for many hours more but the moms had to call it quits. If you had been there you would have wanted to play paintball in the maze and the kids would have loved playing hide and seek with you. Fall is already in the air here and Costco has started putting out Christmas stuff.

I love you!

Tooth News

Dear Dad,
I FINALLY lost my front tooth. I can fit a green bean through the hole. My permanent tooth is already showing.
Love, Ellie

Lovely Oregon

Dear Jaylon,
I thought this might cool you off and make you smile. With his mischievious smile Jay says to me, "I ran away from Heavenly Father to come to this house." I'm sure glad he did!

I'm sorry you have to live in Charlie (Brown) right now. I'm sorry it's hot and dirty and sandy and ugly. I'm sorry your CHU is lit with abominable flourescent lighting and your view outside is sandbags and no trees. But I am glad you don't have to live in a tent and that you have air conditioning and internet that works (sometimes) and a nice roommate.

3 Cheers for silver linings.

Why Does Time Crawl?

Dear Jaylon,

A few minutes ago I was utterly miserable. Missing you so much. I really miss you. A lot of the time I am just fine. I am busy with the kids and the house and activities. But other times after the kids go to bed there is such a void and I feel your absence so much it makes me feel so low and I can feel depression nipping at my heels and begging me to just...do.....nothing. So I start moving extra fast to beat it. Or I shut my eyes and remember different moments when you were with me. Like Orcas Island. Our weekend there is one of my favorite memories. Remember the HUGE cookies on the bed?

I still want to bring the kids back to this mountain. It is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

We should go back there with the kids when you return.

Well, I am going to go and try to watch a movie. I will probably fall asleep within the hour. I wish you were here with me. It drives me crazy that you're not. What weird world is this? I am so homesick for you.
Good-night.

1st Day of School

Don't be fooled by this innocent face. Jax made such a terrible scene. Clinging to my leg and sobbing while 300 hundred kids and parents looked on. The principal had to physically restrain him while I hurried to go before I started to cry too. Gary (Mr. Principal and I are now on a first name basis) called an hour later to reassure me that Jax was happily enjoying kindergarten. My composed little Ellie was nervous but resolute as she walked away from me for her first day of school. We've always thought she was a grown-up in a little person's body.

Dear Jaylon,

Remember how right before we went to bed we'd check on the kids? We'd finally get to hug and kiss Ellie...who is so stingy with her hugs...and sleeping is the only time the boys are ever quiet and still...I thought you might miss seeing them like this.

All About Izaac

This little guy is an angel. He is such a source of joy for me and the kids. Z's favorite place to be is in the thick of his siblings...the more in his face and rowdy they are, the happier he is. Look how much he is growing, Daddy!